Rebuilding

I've picked up my horn again in the last couple days after about five months of not playing it at all. Man, I've got some serious rebuilding to do. My embachure is mush, my fingers rusty, reading stilted. But I'm playing again, and tonight, I even practiced. What do you know? I'm playing in the college jazz band again this year, and I went to rehersal for the first time yesterday evening. That made me realize that I really need to break out my horn on my own and woodshed. Not only am I not where I was, but more importantly, I'm not where I want to be. I want to move past where I was to where I could be. I want to be able to rip through chords and scales in any key, any mode, in a musical fashion. I want to have a play list of standards in my head that I can call from anytime. I want to write and arrange. I think I'd like to teach, and I'm positive I'd like to lead a band. My road map says that to get there from here, there's a whole lot of practice, study, dedication, determination, and time involved. I don't know if I have what it takes to walk that path, but there's only one way to find out. That's to eat an ice cube to soothe my poor, abused lips on the way to bed.