Low expectations, high hopes
This morning, somewhere between two and four a.m., I was thinking about how I'd answer the question, "What do you want your son to be when he grows up?"
It suddenly struck me, and this was something of an epiphany, that I don't have any expectations for The Kid. I hope he's happy and healthy. I hope he finds love and meaning in the world. I hope he finds a satisfying way to make a living. But as for kind of car, house, spouse, job, clothes or any of that stuff, I just don't care.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love for The Kid to succeed in whatever he does, and along with The Wife, I'll be his biggest cheerleader. But that goes equally if he's a star player on some team or a bench warmer or not on the dang team in the first place. I'd really like to have an opportunity to teach The Kid how to cook, how to work with animals, how to plant seeds, how to fight, how not to fight, but it's really up to him to take any or none of these things and explore them further.
I want to support The Kid as he explores the world and learns about himself. I want to answer his questions, but also help him learn to ask more. Ultimately, though, it's not about what I want. It's about what he wants. So I'll just be putting that in my pipe and smoking it.
posted by -- aj van beest at 19:22. Perma-link
3 Comments:
Hi Andreau. You will have infinite opportunities to teach (and shape behaviors both intentionally and less intentionally by what you role-model for Alden). You're right, Alden's choices will ultimately shape who he is too, but just like the sprouts in the garden where your care and attention makes a big difference in how the plants thrive, your love and teaching will impact how Alden thrives. You and Meagan will give him many of the basic tools that will allow him to make those choices and prosper along the way in his journey through life! And, of course, just like you did with your father, Alden will teach you alot about yourself and life and bring you abundant joy, lots of laughter, and probably an occasional headache or tear. love, Dad
5:17 AM
Well, AJ, all I have to say is that you've demonstrated more fatherly qualities in that blog entry than my own father and step-father did in 28+ years. Will you be MY dad, too? I mean, don't get me wrong, I turned out alright--oh, wait, I didn't...(collapses to the floor in a fetal position)...
10:21 AM
C'mon, you have to admit it: "James Dean Van Beest" sounds quite regal, don't you think? I promise to put on a cape and crown and ransack the town of Oostburg, looting it's museums, call in an air strike, and bring its' rich Dutch treasures back to our castle.
10:25 AM
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