Going analog

This weekend, I'll be in the Twin Cities at a Taijutsu seminar. And no, I won't be wearing a necktie or a suit jacket (other than my gi, of course). So I may or may not have access to the 'Net. And I may or may not post. And if I do post, it may or may not be a story installment. So many variables, so little time.

Digitized again

Yesterday was an almost completly analog day. The folks working on the fiber optic cable project in front of our house (no, we won't have a direct fiber pipe to the 'Net, unfortunately) apparently hosed the "temporary" (it looks like we'll live with it for at least six months) phone line they put in. Probably accidently drove over it with the heavy equipment of something. I couldn't get online all day, even though I had another 1,500 words for "The Wronger." heck, I couldn't even call out from my house.

My interview to be the manager or an assistant manager at the new Family Video that's being built as you read these words went well. I even took a shower before going there. But I told the Sherwin-Williams folks I'd most likely come to work for them. For seven bucks an hour. *Sigh.* As you may be able to tell, I have some serious reservations about this, but here's my so-called logic:

1. Sherwin-Williams *really* wants me to come work for them. It's great to be wanted, especially considering my recent employment history.
2. In thinking about what I really want to do in the world, three things keep coming up:
   • Being a great husband and father
   • Sailing
   • Writing
   So I'm going to have the time and flexibility to be our kid's primary care giver (read "house husband") which is something that scares the crap out of me from a can-I-do-it perspective, but is also something I've really wanted to do ever since we started talking about being parents. And being able to take care of our kid is worth in the neighborhood of a grand a month. I'm going to try to fit writing in around the edges of my father and husband responsibilities. Yeah, early mornings or late nights and I will become well acquainted. Sailing is probably just going to have to wait for a couple years until the kid can fit into a little PFD.
3. Call backs for the second round of interviews, etc. for Family Video happen sometime early next week, and Sherwin-Williams knows that I'll (hopefully) be going there to talk more about work possibilities because...
4. Nothing at this point is carved in stone. If Family Video comes back with a good offer (say, for example, that they ask me to manage the store, I'd be making about 35k a year, a big chunk more than Northland paid me to manage their biggest PR outreach program.), I can take it.
5. If I stay at Sherwin-Williams, there is some potential for me to climb their ladder, as much as the thought is distastefull to me.

So I guess that's where things are at for the moment.

Not such a wasted day

Though at first glance, especially around a concrete corner just after dusk when there's just enough light in the sky, it may seem like a wasted day, it t'wernt. I interviewed at Sherwin-Williams. Apparently, even if it is by default since I seem to be the only interview-worthy candidate they can find again, I qualify to stock and sell paint on a part-time basis. That's good news, and may be my fall-back position. Tomorrow, I go to talk to someone representing the new video store in town to see if I qualify to rent videos to people. We'll see; it could be a stretch.

At any rate, after the interview today, I talked to Fred Schnook who's the executive director of NWCEP (a workforce development agency) about my "situation." He really went to bat for me, called a lawyer in Milwaukee, then suggested I not waste my time and energy fighting Northland because they were probably just really shitty to me, not necesarially illegal. I still may call the lawyer and ask, though. He also urged me to give him my resume so he could get it in his system. So I did. Then I talked to a guy about a machinist's job, but you know, I don't know the first thing about it, so no dice there. Then I went to Northland to hang a bit with Clare and see how she's doing working in an office where she's the sole survivor of Karen Halbersleben's axe.

Then I went home and finished "Jedi Academy" because I don't want it tugging at me any more. So I did, lightsabers blazing like beacons of good intention in a night of evil. But what if, like in my previous post, evil doesn't give a rip about good? What if evil just wants to crawl into a corner of the universe and foment? What if evil's been misunderstood all this time? What if good is paranoid? What if "Spaceballs" is right and good is just dumb?

Yeah, so then I went to jazz band. After I went shopping at JC Penny for interview clothes and had the rudest-ever so-called salesperson be a bitch to me. And after I went to see the sawdust maker and congratulate him on surviving another year of debauchery. Way to go, man. Then to jazz band.

The to Burger King (yes, I've seen "Supersize Me," yes I'm a moron to eat there, yes I had literaly 15 minutes between jazz band and birthing class. During which I learned a little about my fellow large women and nervous men, saw the same anatomy animations three times (I'm gonna dream about that mucous plug disolving away, lemme tell you what!), then practiced a relaxation technique that has left me pretty good and sore.

And now that time is almost dead (I've been doing such a good job of killing it by writing this post and washing my new shirt for my interview tomorrow), I'm going to bring in the dogs, pump out the sump and go to sleep. Wish me luck on the video thing. I'm even going to wear a tie. I hope that doesn't make me over-qualified.

What I didn't do, of course, is write. Alas, not one word for either story. But I have a plan: I'm going to take the laptop with the little keyboard with me to the interview and while I'm sitting in line in the basement of the bank, waiting for my turn to go use a firm handshake, look a person stright in the soul and make a good impression, I'm gonna write. Folks seem to like "The Wronger" a little more, so maybe I'll work on that first. But who knows? I'll take what ever comes. Cheers.

I'm fine, thanks

Alright everyone, pay attention 'cause I'm not interested in repeating myself ad naseum or in going to jail.

"The Wronger" is a work of fiction. Obviously not entirely. I've borrowed heavily from my life because that's what I knew this afternoon, and I try to write what I know.

I'm pretty sure people are going to have some really bad days in this story. I'm pretty sure there will be mutilations and gore galore. At least, that's what the trolls tell me (See semi-explatanory note below). The person telling the story is not a nice person. But let me make this perfectly and painfully clear: I am not the narrator. I have not done, nor will I do, any of the things that will most likely happen in this story.

With that out of the way, let me talk a little about how this story is coming to life for me. I was working on "Tom Bolo" this morning and having a real struggle with it. Having to fight and claw for every miserable, stinking word. And that sucks because while there are a couple nuggets of ore there, most of it so far is just garbage rock that I've spent a lot of effort getting to the surface of my mental mine.

So I took a break and played some "Jedi Academy," but I could see my breath, so I went to build a fire. While I was making kindling, I started thinking, yet again, about all the silly, sometimes downright stupid, games I play with myself to avoid writing. I'll wash dishes. I'll take pictures. I clean shit out of the dogs' room. I'll do almost anything to not have to write.

That got me started thinking about a story about all the things I've done and could do to avoid writing. Which got me thinking of a story of a writer who's in the same boat, but gets off on hurting other people, and uses that as his main mode of procrastination. I think "The Wronger" is starting to go in a slightly different direction, but I'm not sure. It's still way too early to tell.

The other huge thing about "The Wronger" is that working on it feels completely different from working on "Tom Bolo." Where the later is a fight for each word, the former feels like a complete gem sitting there, fully formed, but which I can't see. The trolls (Yeah, I know. talk to my Mom. She's the one who introduced me to them, for better or worse. Just an additional side note: I think her trolls are way more well-adjusted to polite society than mine. Hers may or may not use silverware, but mine don't even bother with their fingers; they're quite the brutish lot.) give me descriptions of little bits of it at a time, and it's my job to be a secretary and transcribe what they have to say. Sometimes with "The Wronger," I feel like I can't type fast enough to get it all down. And if I could type faster, the story would probably come faster.

Where does all this leave us; you the intrepid yet gentle reader, and I, the fairly well-groomed spinner of dark, uncouth and impolite stories? Here's where: I can control Tom Bolo (so far) and as such, I pay the price by having a story that in places is dull and well-mannered and which often may tell polite lies. I am definitely *not* driving the bus with "The Wronger" which will be long and brutish, much like our current occupation of the Middle East, but also completly honest, unlike the afore-mentioned occupation.

If you're worried about the blood staining your shirt and your mind, stay away from "The Wronger." I can't tell you this any more plainly. Proceed at your own risk. If you're worried about accurate physical representaion of universal phenomena (ie. "physics"), stay away from "Tom Bolo," or at least keep your trap shut. It's a space opera, for god's sake.

I'm sure readers of "The Wronger" may correctly assume that I'm still some pissed off at Northland. But you know what? I'm going through the grieving process after losing my job there. I'd be in "anger" at the moment. But after a short conversation with the Wife who, as always, has her feet better rooted in the soil of a reasonable reality than do I, I'm going to do what I can to not kill off any fictional representation of any person employed by Northland. She thinks, and I agree, that'd be pushing it too far. So some poor random sap is going to have to take a fire axe to the throat for them. Typical.

If any of you feel I've crossed some sort of moral or ethical line with "The Wronger," please let me know ASAP. I'd rather you e-mail or call me, or tap me gently yet insistently on the shoulder, than find a Sheriff's deputy at my door with a warrant for me because of a story. If that came to be, I'd be rather put out, I'm sure.

Tom Bolo, pt. 2 is up

Calling all fans of bad space operas! Get out your com links and download the second installment of The Adventures of Tom Bolo, deep space geologist. Yeah, I know. It ain't punny. But it *so* is. Just wait until The Boss makes it on stage...

A bad breakup

Pathetic, sanctimonious Jedi. Always sure the Dark Side is out to find you, eh? Well, what would you say if I told you the Dark Side doesn't care about you? It has no use for you and never has? Go pet your Wookie, paranoid Padawan, or perhaps play with your Ewok if you prefer. The Dark Side and I are going bowling.

MIL's gone, post gift

Last night, MIL and the Wife went to Ironwood to go shopping at K-Mart. Don't ask; it doesn't matter. What does matter is they came home with a gift for me: a big black hoddie.

I love it! I think they unwittingly got me my uniform for life. Thanks a million, you two!

And now that her sewing project is done, MIL has left for her treck back east. It's been a roller coaster couple of weeks. I'll be glad to get things back onto a little more of an even keel before the kid shows up in just *two* months (yep. that'd be 65 days until the kid is scheduled to show up).

Thanks again for all your help, MIL, and all the stuff, and let's both try harder to communicate better with each other next time we visit.
Love ya!
-aj

My own little slice of hell

I've decided to use some of my unemployed time to write a novel.

I just love dropping those little bomblets! So here's the scoop: November just happens to be National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to sign up at this Web site, then write 50,000 words of fiction in November. They don't have to be great words, or even really edited. They just have to be captured. If you make it, apparently you get a certificate. But you'll also have the beginning of a novel!

I've always said writing longer fiction is something I'd love to do, and especially if it's science fiction. Today I read a deal on blogger talking about using a blog to post the stories folks are writing for NaNoMo, and I figured this is my big chance. I'll let everyone out there in e-land know I'm going to try to do this, then I'll have people (that'd be you, ready or not!) who can support and cajole me through this thing. And heck, maybe I'll have the beginnigs of a novel at the end of it that I can rework into a real live published-on-paper-and-everything book.

So here's a link to the work in progress. This is my chance to make like a real writer and buckle down, put my nose to the grind stone and invite carpal tunnel back into my body.

A note on the title of the novel blog

That's not (at least I don't think it is) the title of the story. It's more a reference to how hard and scary it's always been for me to follow this dream of writing science fiction. It's one of the toughest things I can think of to do: sitting down with just my keyboard and my brain and spinning story. But maybe it's also one of the best things, too.

Sloooooow blogger

I wonder if every Blogger's user stats are as slow to update as mine are. My profile says I have 60 posts. I just counted. This is number 87. It also says I have 12,300 words in my blog. Apparently, that isn't real likely either.

Is there a way that anyone knows to update this thing or do I just have to find a way to survive, not being able to keep immediate tabs on my so-called productivity?

Uh oh

It just occured to me that *people* are going to expect us to baptize our kid at some point. Huh. That oughtta be interesting considering I don't do religion except out of respect for others' beliefs. I guess I may as well get the first round or two out of the way right now.

On god

Does God exist? Who knows? I defy anyone to logically prove his/her/its existence or non-existence. The universe is huge and complex and beautiful. Infinite? Who knows?

I know it's pretty fabulous to think about all the engineering and adaptation and evolution that goes into a single blade of grass. Xylem and phylem and sucrose and chloryphyll and the Kreb's cycle and mitosis and solar radiation at just the right wattage and O2 respiration. It's amazing. And I have a whole lawn of the stuff. And I can walk to the edges of more than a million acres of national forest that is several orders of magnitude more incredible. And any one of my friends eclipse the beauty and majesty of the forest (well, most of them, at any rate ;-)). And there are six-and-a-half *billion* people — all unique — out there.

Is it all just a great machine that some consciousness built for entertainment or companionship or because it had left-over spare parts from other projects? Or is it all just amazing and happy (mostly) and beautiful conincidence? I dunno; do you?

Finally, what does it matter if I believe in god or not? Let's just suppose for a moment that we each have an immortal soul, and that this is our one shot at life, that we won't be reincarnated. If god is kind and loving (a new testament god) and we've been reasonably good people, we'll most likely end up in the great white condo in the sky. If god is vengeful and just (a cranky, old testament god), then we're all fucked no matter what we do.

Let's face it, if I ever have a vision of a flaming bush in the desert telling me I need to choose between my kid and my god, then I'll hope god's been practicing his/her/its taijutsu because I'll be opening my can of Holy Whoop-Ass (tm). Yeah, and after the dust settles, I'll check the ingrediants of those brownies, then file a complaint with the EPA about W. selling the Chequamegon-Nicolet National Forest to loggers.

On religion

Let me just start by saying I've never done particularly well with authority. If someone says, "AJ, you can't..." my immediate response, even before they've put a name to the impossible, is, "Oh yeah, you son-of-a-bitch? Watch me." So you can imagine how religion and I mesh.

On the pro side, I was really fortunate to grow up mostly in a UCC church where the pastor saw me as an individual person with my own beliefs and values, and who helped me explore those some. He was and is a guide and a mentor rather than some dude who cloaked himself in the garmets of authority. My Dad seems rather aghast at my position on religion and keeps threatening to get the pastor, himself, and me together with some wine on a beach on the edge of The Lake and hash things out. I keep waiting for the invitation.

On the con side,

• I also spent some time as a young person in a methodist church where apparently the ministers were out to screw the congregation, both literally and figuratively.
• I know people who take the Bible literally — Come on, people, it's a book, just like "Clifford's Big Adventure" except with more violence, sex, and murder.
• I see people throw away logic and empirical (ie. you can touch and see it because it's right in front of you) evidence because they "believe," they "have faith" that the world has to work in some other way.

If other folks want to have faith in something, fine. I hope it makes them feel better in their times of need. I rely on my friends to always be there for me. For the natural world to always be there. For music to (hopefully, if I take better care of my ears) always be there. And the universe, of course, will always be there for me. Until it isn't.

On baptisim

I figure that unless Ashland is invaded by motorcycle-riding zombies, and holy water is proven to repel them, I'll hold off on the baptism until the kid is old enough to think about the world and his or her place in it, and make his or her own decision. Of course, I need to talk to The Wife about all this and see what she thinks. That is, after all, the essence of our relationship; communication and partnership.

And pasta with zesty garlic bread.

A little change

Yeah, so I made a little technical change to the blog. You may notice it for a few days... I took out all the automatic paragraph breaks because it was making my code look crapy.

So there it is. It's out in the world now. That's how geeky I am. I need my code to look purty.

Please bear with me while I go clean up the archives.

Speaking sense

Kitten and Harb, the fine folks at the Walled City have an excellent description of how to approach their blog, and I think probably any blog, unless otherwise instructed, and just to be able to use another two restrictive clauses, my blog as well. I especially like the part that goes:

A disclaimer about the weblog itself: Not all of it is meant to be taken seriously. Many of our posts are just our thoughts and feelings at the moment. I realize that this is vague, but I suspect that if you take the time to read enough posts, understand our sense of humor and how we perceive the world, you'll know what I mean. I wish disclaimers of this type weren't necessary, but not everyone, it seems, knows what weblogging is all about.

So until word arrive from Lenningrad, consider the above to be your marching orders where the Digital Beest is concerned. As you were, private!

Happy birthday, Josh

I can only assume that you're well on your way to getting completly trashed, as per your master plan. Have a great time, leave the candy for the little kids, and drink a big glass of water when you come home. And then ponder your 30 years on the planet in the morning when your head is splitting, your stomach is roiling, and the only thing you want to eat in the whole world is a nice cold, soggy ham sandwich served on a bed of congealed grease in a dirty ashtray. Cheers!

Karen swings the axe. Again.

Karen Halbersleben, the president of Northland College, announced more staff cuts at a mandatory staff and faculty meeting at the college Friday morning.

Halbersleben said that Mary Rehwald (coordinator of the College's Life-long Learning Center), Susan Hall (coordinator of both the College's Arts & Letters series and its Wild Careers program for high school students, Jennifer Honl-Compton (coordinator of the College's Information Desk, Alvord Theatre Crew and Facilities Reservation Program), and Gerald Bruno (the College's risk assesor) were let go by the college on Thursday to "remove redundancies and improve communication."

Hall said that she and Rehwald had less than a day's notice that their positions at the College had ended. The College also plans to remove up to seven faculty positions through attrition.

End journalism, begin commentary

1. Karen, what the hell did you do? Is swinging the axe the only way you can think to solve a budget problem? And for crying out loud, if you're going to swing it, at least be decent to the people you're firing. Tell them how much you appreciate them and what it's meant to you working with them for the past couple years. In less, of course, you really don't care about your people. In which case, kudos to you for being honest and straightforward and doing your job without all those messy feelings getting in the way.
2. Again to Karen: You don't have to take care of your people. There are plenty of folks out there who are just dying for a chance to work long, unpredictable hours for pay that while not *so* bad for around here, is pathetic in the general scheme of things, as well as for supervisors who apparently don't recognize or choose not to reward creative and critical thought. Just remember, while you may be the master of the ship, I defy you to sail it by yourself.
3. To The Press: You know, you really missed an opportunity on Friday. The president of the *only* four-year college within 70 miles breaks her promise from almost exactly two years ago to not to fire any more employees to solve the college's budget woes (which they have in the first place because of crappy recruiting, but you don't see any of those strategies changing, do you?), and there's nothing about that but plenty of fluff about pumpkin carving on campus? What was that?

I guess I'm pretty dissapointed by this whole thing; that Karen would can more people after promising not to, and that the paper would let it slide. Oooof dah!